Many young mothers prefer to find a nanny for their baby, send them to a kindergarten or in the care of grandparents in order to get to work sooner. Indeed, not everyone uses the full three years of leave that are provided to a woman to care for a child. But the desire to quickly start working is not always due to material or other objective reasons.
Most often, young mothers want to change the situation and bring something new into their lives. They just get tired over time from (it seems) endless diapers, undershirts, diapers and walks. Caring for a child for some women turns into a protracted stress that destroys relationships and life. So how do you deal with depression on maternity leave?
Comment from a family psychologist
Mom's maternity depression is not a myth, but a reality. To varying degrees, up to 80% of women experience apathy, dissatisfaction with themselves or life in general, irritability, dissatisfaction and other unpleasant emotional phenomena. It manifests differently for everyone.
Some young mothers easily experience emotional turmoil after the birth of a child. And one cannot do without changes in the psyche, because the birth of a new family member is not only an immense joy, but also global changes and a huge responsibility. Other women begin to delve into themselves, look for other reasons to be sad, and eventually withdraw.
Depression on maternity leave is a phenomenon not only due to emotional, but also physical factors. In the first 24-48 hours after childbirth, the level of estrogen and progesterone in the body drops sharply to a level lower than before conception. As a result, depression can develop, which is caused by the same thing as PMS.
Sometimes emotional stability is undermined by thyroid problems or vitamin B deficiency. In the postpartum period, lack of sleep and lack of energy can lead to a tendency to exaggerate problems. Some women really get desperate.
It is important to remember that if postpartum depression is not detected and treated in time, it can develop into a chronic problem and even prevent the mother from developing attachment to the child. In this regard, some mothers may not pay attention to the crumbs or even raise their hands to her when they lose their temper. All this adversely affects the usefulness and timeliness of the physical and emotional development of the child.
Depression in outgoing women
Particularly emotional and sensitive women by their nature are usuallyopen and sociable. Such mothers begin to experience anxiety and apathy if they cannot fully build emotional relationships with people. Forced isolation and lack of communication on maternity leave cause depression in such women. The emotional range of sociable women is too great to be limited to a husband and a small child, and because of the restrictions, fears, tearfulness, anxiety, feelings of dissatisfaction with oneself, and panic attacks appear.
How to deal with depression on maternity leave for active extroverts? Psychologists recommend women with such a temperament to decorate the house and change the interior in order to quickly improve their condition. You can try your hand at photography or painting. Communication and new acquaintances with the same mothers are now available via the Internet. Advice that can only further lock a woman into loneliness and herself (for example, meditation) is categorically not suitable.
A woman can maximize her activity and sociability in the field of volunteer work, but with a child in her arms it is difficult. Although it is in such areas that the emotional range of a young mother will be fully involved in empathy and sympathy. You can find a community that is engaged in such activities, and take part in all possible ways. For example, at the city forum of mothers, you can organize a collection of things for a local shelter or orphanage.
If you are tortured by routine and monotony
For active and purposeful women, careerists who know how to achieve their goals,novelty is an integral part of a fulfilling life. Often such personalities can be seen in sports or business, among them there are technologists and engineers. Their area of interest is career, competitiveness and competition, technical innovation.
The life of a young mother changes dramatically when she goes on maternity leave. But the feeling of apathy, sadness and anxiety that occurs from time to time cannot be called depression. Negative emotional states are the result of dissatisfaction and desire for novelty. Such active and active women can not stand the routine.
How to cope with depression on maternity leave? To improve your condition, you can rearrange your home, change your appearance, expand the “geography” of walking with your baby (for this it is more convenient to use slings or kangaroos, rather than classic strollers), actively engage in sports at home or start going to the gym.
Knitting or embroidery, as well as other types of needlework, are widely spread. But such advice is not for those who are tired of the monotony. Such activities will only aggravate the depression of a careerist who is forced to stay at home with a child (even her own and dearly beloved).
If depression appears on maternity leave, what should I do? Women who are tired of the monotony are often advised to start a small Internet business or register as an entrepreneur. You can even work from home. This is useful both for the financial situation of the family and for the normal emotional state of the mother, who all her life before birththe baby was busy with her career.
Depression in those who do not feel like a mother
A special condition after childbirth in women who feel on an equal footing with a man. In ancient times, representatives of the weaker sex with such a temperament accompanied men in war and hunting. Today, these women may experience difficulties with conception and independent childbirth, and when going on maternity leave, they may face psychological difficulties. Such a mother defines depression in herself, because she does not develop the notorious maternal instinct.
All this does not mean that it will not be possible to safely raise and educate a child. It may seem strange, but it is women with such a temperament who realize themselves well in the profession of an educator. Relations with your own child are built not on the basis of maternal instinct, but on a special emotional connection. This becomes possible when the baby begins to recognize and respond to the mother.
A woman with such a temperament needs to communicate, so you should not lock yourself into family and household at all. Successful ways of social realization are all possible assistance to volunteer centers, active participation in the life of relatives. For most women, realization in the role of mother and wife is primary, but for the types listed here, it is social realization that is necessary.
Depression among women who seek the meaning of life
There is a type of woman whose natural needs are concentration and solitude. Becoming a mother, they, with sadness and apathy, begin to look for the answer to the question: “Is the realsense in procreation? When the child grows up, will the mother be needed only to pay for food and continue to care for him? Strengthens the depressive state of the inability to be alone with yourself. More often, it is women with such a temperament who need qualified help from a psychologist.
Why there is apathy and dissatisfaction with life
Depression on maternity leave appears due to a combination of reasons. Both the physical aspects and the purely emotional ones matter. In the first months after the birth of the baby, fatigue and constant lack of sleep are most pronounced. This results in alienation, apathy and irritability. In this case (if there are no other problems, and the reason, most likely, is fatigue), you need to devote more time to rest and realize that everything will start to change in a month and a half.
In addition, young mothers are forced to be in a confined space almost all the time. Lack of diversity causes irritability, tearfulness, dissatisfaction with life and other problems. Such reasons can be caused by depression on maternity leave. Is the child a year old or a little more, but there is no more strength? It's just fatigue from the routine.
It is important to expand the "horizons" here: with a child (even a small one) you can visit, explore new walking routes and go shopping. For ease of movement (especially if you don’t have your own car), it is better to purchase a comfortable sling or kangaroo. Today there are models that are suitable even for newborns.
Changes noticeably after childbirththe figure of a woman. The kilograms gained during pregnancy do not go to the discharge. Changes are noticeable not only to the youngest mother, but also to her husband. Hence the irritability and lack of attention from the second half. But there is a way out. You need to improve nutrition and exercise (at least at home). During pregnancy, you should also try not to gain extra pounds in order to quickly return to normal after childbirth.
Can be pronounced in primiparous "bad mom syndrome". It seems that everything is falling out of hand, the child is missing something all the time, there is a fear of not being able to do something or losing sight of it, of doing everything wrong. In this case, you need to find a more experienced friend to whom you can turn for advice. You can listen to your mother or another woman who has a similar experience. Support and advice will help you cope with the new role painlessly for the emotional state.
Symptoms of depression and burnout
Depression in a woman on maternity leave is burnout, irritability and nervousness, fears and dissatisfaction with life. This is typical of all professionals working in the social sphere and not only. And mom is quite a profession. You can pay attention to the following symptoms of emotional burnout and depression on maternity leave: reduced emotional background, drowsiness, weakness, increased nervousness and irritability, indifference to what is happening around and apathy, feeling like a bad mother, constant lack of time. To this is often added chronic fatigue syndrome and possiblephysical he alth problems.
How to get rid of depression on maternity leave
What can you do on maternity leave to escape from disturbing thoughts? As a rule, in most cases, it is enough for young mothers to find something to their liking in order to normalize their emotional state. If the type of work activity allows, you can take some of the cases home. It turns out that there is both an occupation and an income.
You might think what you like to do. It can be embroidery or knitting and other women's needlework, blogging or even model building. But you need to engage in a hobby without prejudice to communication with loved ones and the baby's daily routine.
How to get out of depression? In the decree, you can increase the level of your knowledge. This will suit purposeful women and careerists for whom all life is rivalry. You can sign up for short manicure or makeup courses, learn how to build nails, read special literature or learn languages.
Rest needed anyway
How not to get depressed on maternity leave? We must not forget about the rest. It is advisable for a young mother to allocate time for daytime sleep. This is a great rest for the body. Before going to bed, you can take a relaxing bath, in which it is recommended to add medicinal s alts and flavored foam. It improves the mood of the body tone, and physical exercises will help you quickly get back in shape after childbirth.
Reading books and magazines about motherhood or professional activities is also useful. You can pay attention tofiction that will help you immerse yourself in a fictional world. Communication with acquaintances, friends and relatives is necessary. In the first days after discharge from the hospital, there will be no time for this, but then communication is simply necessary.
Walking and fun without children
Mandatory condition - walks without children. Try to get out of the house for at least two hours a week. This is not at all a distance from your own child, but a reasonable attitude towards your psyche. Time spent without a baby should be as different from everyday life as possible. You can meet with friends, go on a date with your husband or visit a beauty salon.
General recommendations for new mothers
How to get rid of depression on maternity leave? Everything should be treated positively. Even everyday self-care, baby care and household chores can be made more interesting. It is enough to buy scented bath foam, bright sponges for home care, beautiful children's things and generally give preference to something unusual. When buying clothes, it is also better to prefer bright colors, because psychologists have long proven their ability to positively influence mood.
It is worth learning to accept any help. It is necessary to forget disagreements and long-standing grievances, give others the opportunity to participate in caring for the child and discard the desire to be independent in everything. The freed minutes do not need to rush to fill with everyday chores - this is the time to relax, you can treat yourself to some sweetness (but only in moderation) or take a bath.
Medicated methods of correction
Ifthere are signs of depression on maternity leave, what to do? If the condition is unstable, then it is better to consult a specialist. For severe problems, sedatives or antidepressants are prescribed. Treatment is selected individually. The funds depend on the condition of the woman, the presence of concomitant symptoms, the feeding regimen (breast or artificial).
How a husband can help: advice to a partner
Depression on maternity leave is not a whim or whim, but very real problems. That is why the partner should pay attention to the state of his wife. It is better to take on some of the household chores, you should try to compliment your spouse more often and not insist on intimacy. If a woman is morally exhausted, then sex for her will only worsen the situation. You need to kindly help your wife if something does not work out for her. You can try to "stir up" your spouse with pleasant impressions: a gift or a good pastime.
