Philophobia is the fear of falling in love. This is a certain mental disorder, which includes a strong fear of positive emotions in relation to another person. A person suffering from this disorder is afraid of sincere and intimate feelings, which on his part can be addressed to another individual.
Features
Philophobia (or fear of falling in love) mostly appears in people who are interested in it. Often in their dreams or ideas they associate their happiness with love, but in reality they suppress this desire in themselves in all sorts of ways.
As a rule, the fear of falling in love appears when, having suffered once, a person never again wants to feel a strong and strong attachment to someone.
Don't part with your loved ones
The main fear that develops in a philophobe is the fear of falling in love. He is frightened that this feeling arises spontaneously, by itself, often completelyimpossible to control. Memories of previous relationships have a great influence, when love forced to literally turn inside out the deep qualities, while only good ones. All this does not allow a person to fall in love again, he develops a kind of phobia, fear of falling in love.
In most cases, philophobia develops after the lovers part. The longer the previous relationship was, the stronger this mental deviation can be. As a result, the soul of such a person is filled with emptiness, after which depression begins. The latter is easily explained by disappointment in love and emotional attachment to a person who has been dear and close for a long time.
Because of this, a vulnerable person is afraid to fall in love again, to feel apathy and disappointment again after another breakup. Also characteristic in this state are auto-aggression, bitterness, resentment, irritation, a state of complete helplessness, sadness, a significant decrease in vitality.
These painful memories provoke philophobia. Now you know what the fear of falling in love is called. A person deep inside himself is afraid to re-experience the sensations associated with love withdrawal.
Reasons
More likely that the causes of this condition will manifest themselves in an unsociable person. Among the common causes, psychologists identify a huge number of situations after which this disorder can begin to develop.
Signs of philophobia are that future chosen ones cannot stand anycomparisons with past love, a real philophobe is not able to accept even slight deviations from the perfection that he observed in the past, it becomes impossible for him to compromise, and consequently, subsequent relationships.
A person who is afraid to be disappointed excludes any prolonged contact with the opposite sex. The reasons may be articles of murder within the family, rape of a woman, fear of losing one's immunity by losing a partner, being raised in a family with a cruel and indifferent stepmother or stepfather. Even the appearance of a younger child can provoke philophobia, which will draw the attention and care of parents.
In adulthood, philophobia can form in a person who is afraid of the real financial responsibility for the object of his love, and in childhood it can be provoked by the departure of one of the parents from the family because of love. Often, people who have lost a child in a happy marriage experience fear of intimacy, as well as those who are afraid of losing their independence, who are convinced that love can bring misfortune.
Fictitious ideal
Often a role, especially for a reclusive person, in this matter can be played by parents. The beginnings of philophobia are formed in childhood because of a father or mother who suppresses the personality of a teenager in everything, putting a negative attitude towards the opposite sex into his not fully formed consciousness. As a result, in adolescence, the ideal of a loved one begins to form, which in reality cannot be achieved. If a person's identity is not yetfully formed, he may not be aware of this, since the ideal that he forms for himself is based solely on works of art, but neither knights from medieval novels, nor Captain Arthur Gray on a ship with scarlet sails in real life exist. However, such a collective image of an ideal companion is formed at the subconscious level, turning into a real protection from life. When a child grows up, he is not able to accept an imperfect person next to him. As a result, shyness, anxiety and difficulties during contacts, self-doubt appear.
A change in values and life orientations, for example, changed professional interests, a new job, can affect the occurrence of such a state. It is especially difficult when such a phobia develops in those who really need such a feeling. This may indicate the need to realize your inner potential.
Ultimately, philophobia dooms a person to loneliness, making him unhappy.
Symptoms
The treatments and symptoms of philophobia are well known to modern psychologists who have learned to deal with this condition. It is manifested by the appearance of panic horror and fear of love or falling in love. Such fear pushes a person to destroy any relationship at the initial stage.
It is a misconception that this problem is known only to women. Philophobia in men is no less common, it also develops hard. What distinguishes such people is that they canfeel comfortable and uninhibited only with those representatives of the opposite sex, in which, in principle, they are not able to fall in love or become attached to them.
Craving for loneliness
As a result, over time, philophobes as partners or even spouses choose people who feel contempt for them, scoff. Such relationships allow them to feel relatively safe, but in most cases they still gravitate towards loneliness.
Filophobe is easy to recognize. This is a person who is closed from the outside world, who avoids even the semblance of flirting, open conversations and questions, is indecisive, constantly blushes, can stutter, feels awkward and anxious when he has to talk with members of the opposite sex.
The individual, as a rule, lacks the will and craving for constancy, due to the likelihood of experiencing repeated fear of loss or separation, panic fear develops.
Victim or aggression
A person suffering from this condition develops a sense of aggression or a victim complex. The type of patient can be determined by the results of psychiatric tests.
The manifestation of aggression is characterized by a feeling of being wrong, because of which a person constantly has to blame himself, a form of auto-aggression may even appear. It is common for everyone to love, but fear in a particular case takes over the philophobic, begins to dominate him. Only psychologists can help to understand such a difficult condition. Feeling developmentaggression is attributed to childhood trauma or failed previous relationships.
The victim complex manifests itself in a list of corresponding emotions and feelings. These are resentment, humiliation, helplessness, sadness, regular sad memories. It is worth noting that the feelings of sacrifice in the female sex are much higher than in the male. Philophobe often feels completely helpless, unable to overcome the consequences of what happened. Often begins to unreasonably blame himself for the parting that happened, get angry for the inability to foresee the development of events in time.
Characteristic behavior
Philophobe's behavior may seem strange to others. The consequence of this strong anomaly is not only childlessness and loneliness. People can decide to consciously mutilate themselves.
For example, they refuse to use cosmetics, take care of themselves, and may begin to disfigure the body with burns, scars and tattoos. They drive themselves to the extreme degree of obesity, doing everything to make their appearance as repulsive as possible.
For the worse, they change as individuals, showing open aggression towards those they like, treating them kindly. As a result, among relatives and friends, they may be considered domestic sadists who are sure that they love their partner much more than they would like.
Psychologists even managed to establish a universal formula according to which the philophobe works. Building relationships, he chooses a partner, expects from him evidence of love, attention, interest. But howonly gets them, immediately pushes him away.
The importance of love
Like any mental disorder, this condition needs to be treated. Only a professional can help a true philophobe.
To do this, you need to understand that a person remains social, and love for him is still an important component of life. To refuse it consciously is simply criminal. Of course, there are many experiences in a relationship throughout life.
People who do not suffer from philophobia understand that due to romantic feelings they can seriously win. For them, relationships become an opportunity to express themselves.
Treatment
In such a situation, the task of psychotherapists should be to convince a person that falling in love interferes with sober thinking and reasoning only at first. After a very short time, this passes, emotions subside, so you should not be afraid of them so much.
Love is able to remove any internal clamps, solve complex problems. You need to accept with all your heart the person who gives this state, trust such a person, not forgetting about yourself as an independent and independent person.
Having opened up to a new partner, a person himself will be able to know himself better, begin to improve. In this case, even a negative experience is useful. Having experienced rejection, the individual begins to mature, he has the opportunity to move forward without fear anymore.
Final Deliverance
It is important for a psychiatrist that the patient is imbued with confidence in him. In suchthe state is helped by conversations that correct the state. In this case, the philophobe himself is aware of his problem, in the future this helps him get rid of it.
In most cases, the prognosis in such a situation is favorable.
