Know how to deal with bouts of aggression, should any modern person. Anger and aggression can be both enemies and allies. If these feelings get in the way of productive daily activities, you should try to bring them under control. Seemingly unseemly, they can become useful if you properly reconsider your emotions.
Anger: win or tame?
Finding out how to deal with the aggression of a teenager or an adult, a child or a person of advanced age, you first need to deal with the peculiarities of the emotional background and mental status of any person. Extinguishing feelings in oneself is far from the best way out, because sooner or later all this can “explode”. At the same time, aggressive behavior repels people and causes public condemnation, it is dangerous for others and the object itself. Of course, there are people who are able to completely eliminate anger and aggression from their lives, but only a few are capable of this.
Questions about howto fight the aggression of a husband, wife, parents and children are fully justified - this is a natural state and feeling for a person, since it is impossible to be constantly satisfied with everything. True, the emergence of a negative emotional background and its expression are two different things. Some, although plunging into the abyss of aggression, keep their anger inside, not showing any hint of emotion to an external observer.
Will it endure?
When teaching a child how to deal with aggression, you do not need to explain to the child that all emotions should be kept inside - this is not an option. Sooner or later, feelings accumulate to a certain critical point and break through, and the situation can become catastrophic, and loved ones will be among the victims. A double life is not an option. It is best to figure out what provokes anger, and it is with the cause that you fight with all your might.
Having understood where negative emotions come from, many are surprised. This feeling comes from within. Moreover, aggression is to some extent useful for a person, but only if he learns to use it. It is necessary not so much to figure out how to deal with children's aggression, but to study the mechanisms for taming it to your advantage. Aggression is a state of mind that represents a reaction to certain actions. A closely related concept of "anger" includes feelings that originate inside a person.
Theory and practice
Every variant of behavior is, to a greater or lesser extent, a successful attempt to communicate with the outside world, to influence it. Aggression becomes the waygetting what you want, and sharing your own with others. Understanding how to deal with aggression, you need to realize that it is one of the methods for creating boundaries between the inner and outer world, a tool to protect yourself from the environment. Through aggression, a person makes it clear to himself and others how it is possible to deal with him, and how it is unacceptable.
Aggression is a powerful communication tool to help get your message across to other people. Of course, it cannot be called pleasant, and society condemns this method. Nevertheless, it is impossible to refuse it - it is unnatural. No need to think about how to deal with aggression, you should tame it and make it serve for yourself. True, in order to begin your movement along this path of knowledge, you first need to cleanse yourself of the already accumulated anger, otherwise emotions will overwhelm you.
Say goodbye to negativity
When figuring out how to deal with aggression, you should start by getting rid of the accumulated anger. Negative emotions are not instantaneous, they grow like a snowball over a long time. A person regularly experiences discomfort caused by situations and human actions, which leads to anger.
As a rule, everything starts with the formation of expectations from the object of communication. For many, they are precise and definite, and when the plan and reality diverge, a person feels as if he has been deceived. This is where the frustration comes from. However, if you step back from the situation, it will not hurt at all. More often, however, the emotional status of a person who has been deceived in his expectations is similar to the state of a child, inwho was taken away a barely received new toy. Discontent breeds anger.
Plans and consequences
When figuring out how to deal with aggression, you should understand that it is born from a worked out unfulfilled plan. Any person has patterns, attitudes, determined for himself, but in reality the situation can develop in a completely different way when circumstances are unfavorable for the individual. To turn aggression to your advantage, you should learn not to drown in a sea of emotions, but to draw strength to correct your behavior in order to change it in your favor.
In order for anger not to cause a mental status disorder, not to provoke rash acts, you need to be able to recognize your negative emotions. Building a productive internal dialogue allows you to recognize the place of aggression in your own life. This creates the prerequisites for identifying your own needs. This will allow you to understand what is needed for happiness, and apply aggression to get what you want. Anger in such a situation becomes a guide, not an obstacle.
Long and stable
Where to start and how to deal with aggression in the elderly, children and adults, a psychologist can tell. The specialist will explain that everything should begin with getting rid of the already accumulated negativity. Do not be afraid that this will lead to a big explosion - you need to create safe conditions in advance. It is best to clear negative emotions with the help of a specialist. By normalizing the internal state, one can thereby eliminate aggressionrelative to others.
If a person does not try to suppress emotions, but accepts them and hears himself, negative manifestations become helpers. Gradually, acceptance of yourself and your characteristics, taking into account the identification of external disturbing factors, will become a tool for minimizing the emergence of anger. Needs will be met and anger will no longer be a communication tool.
Parents and children
You won't find a family where the older generation has never raised their voice to a child. Humiliating words, sudden movements, blows and punishments provoked by a trifle - this happens in everyone's life. Angry outbursts, however, leave behind a feeling of guilt - adults are well aware that a child's act did not deserve such punishment. Nevertheless, it is difficult to cope with oneself, and the situation repeats itself over and over again.
Aggression on the part of parents turns the child into a victim, at the same time, the older generation feels helpless, guilty. By learning to deal with aggression, you can thereby make the whole family happier.
The situation is diversified
Aggressive attitude towards children is irrational. It is characteristic not only of dysfunctional social cells, but also of normal families in which parents love their children and take care of them. Talking about aggression is not accepted, it is considered shameful, and strict education is considered to be a social norm in our country. Adults can understand that negative emotions are destructive, but they cannot be controlled.
Aggressionprovoked by discomfort inside, and it is often caused not by a child at all, but by external causes or features of one's own upbringing. Disappointment, discrepancy between the child and the plan drawn up by adults is another typical cause of anger and aggression. The elders imagine a kind of ideal, under which they are trying to fit a real person. When trying to show individuality, the child becomes a cause of disappointment and an object of aggression.
Generation after generation
Often, parents are aggressive towards children, who themselves were the object of such an attitude at a tender age. The behavior model is remembered as a norm, as something correct and having no alternative. Awareness of the model is the first step to defeating it. Aggression is currently perhaps the most common reason parents turn to a family psychologist who understand the existence of problems in relationships with children.
To get the situation under control, you need to understand what provokes anger. It could be fatigue, a difficult job, or an upcoming important event that creates anxiety. If the cause cannot be identified, seek qualified assistance. By recognizing emotions, you can master the tools for expressing them. Parents who grew up in disadvantaged conditions are often aggressive, therefore they did not have before their eyes an example of the correct support of others. To get aggression under control, you need to understand how important it is to change. Having learned to empathize, sympathize with the child, having fallen in love with the child and themselves, all family members will becomehappier.
Accept and understand
A child is individual, he is special, he is a person. Realizing this, recognizing his right not to conform to a pre-built template, thereby minimizing the likelihood of uncontrollable anger. Everyone has the right to experience, mistakes and overcoming difficulties. No need to try to remake the child to your requirements, hiding him from reality. By accepting a growing person, adults provide him with the best support, while saving themselves from the bitterness of unjustified expectations.
