Today we will talk about the fear of the feeling of love, falling in love, which makes a person obsessed with it do everything possible to destroy relationships in their infancy, a fear that is becoming more common among contemporaries. So, philophobia - what is it?
How philophobia manifests itself
Philophobes differ from other people in that they are comfortable only with those who definitely cannot arouse love. That is, with a partner who humiliates or despises - behaves by no means like a lover. It is this attitude that makes a person possessed by a phobia feel safe.
But do not think, reflecting on the concept of "philophobia", that this is a condition that is akin to masochism. No, the philophobe, as a rule, does not decide on such perverted relationships, the instinct of self-preservation is sufficiently developed in him, and therefore most often he remains a lonely creature without children.
Philophobia: what is it and how does it develop
Corny soundingthe truth that “we all come from childhood” is absolutely true for philophobes, since their problems originate from children's fears of the events that the child has witnessed. It could be:
- the difficult fate of a father or mother, for which the child blamed one of the parents;
- coming as a result of the love of dad or mom in the family of a stepfather or stepmother. By the way, they do not have to be bad for the child at all;
- the birth of a younger brother or sister who took away the attention of their parents. Because of this, love for the older child has become something terrible, leading to loneliness.
But a similar rebirth of attitude to the feeling of love can develop in an adult. As a rule, the basis for this is the fear of being responsible for the one you love, and for those brought up in a despotic family, the fear of losing freedom. It is also not uncommon for the fear of repeating the already passed sad experience of their relationship.
Philophobia: Symptoms
Philophobia manifests itself in the repeated outcome of any affection of the possessed. He, like others, seeks attention and care in a partner, but as soon as the latter begins to show them, the philophobe in every possible way moves away from the object of his interest, goes into conflict, just to interrupt the frightening relationship.
In more severe cases, such people even try to disfigure their appearance in order not to become an object of love: they injure themselves or bring themselves to severe obesity. And sometimes they show extreme aggression towardsone who likes, fearing that he will reciprocate. But if the partner is not only not interested in the philophobe, but is also rude towards him, the obsessed one involuntarily reaches out to such a person, feeling that this is his “safe zone”.
Filophobia: treatment
As you already understood, this deviation requires the obligatory help of a psychotherapist. But it should be remembered that neither hypnosis, nor coding, nor psychotropic drugs will help in this situation. To heal a philophobe, conversations that correct consciousness are required. After all, it is extremely important for him to understand how his philophobia arose, what it is and how to deal with it. It must be said right away that the prognosis in this disease is very good, since ten out of eleven people are completely healed of their painful condition.
